Recently Ariana Grande came out with a song called “Thank you, Next” as an ode to her exes and self love. I’m not gonna lie, I am obsessed with that song. I don’t know what it is but I love it. I take that back actually, I do know why I love that song so much. While its no secret that I’ve never been in a relationship, I still have had situations that I was in. Hell, I’m pining over someone as we speak (but this blog isn’t about him). I have now gotten over my past and accepted those guys for what they were. I’m not gonna trash talk them, but I learned so much from my experiences and now I realize how it is that I should be treated. I’m gonna take a page out of Ariana Grande’s book for a second. I won’t name drop but I’ll state what I learned in the last three years since my last situation. Not one of them treated me like I deserved and a lot of that was my fault because my self esteem and self love was non existent at that point in my life. Thanks to books, podcasts, my crystals, blogs, growth, therapy, and last but not least, my current crush (who shall remain nameless at this point) I know what I deserve and how to be treated:
- N taught me that I deserved to be treated like a princess
- D taught me that I want someone with real goals and aspirations
- A taught me I have more to offer than my body
- R taught me to wait for the right person
One thing I learned from a relationship coach is that I should lead with love, meaning to not be mean and to be kind. Putting negativity out there will only generate more negativity and that can hinder you in finding love. “A” contacted me a few months back and my initial thought was to be a bitch to him but I decided against it. I decided to lead with love and you know what, he stopped responding to me! Was I upset? No! I wasn’t trying to win him back or anything, I was just respectful and didn’t play into his game. I was so happy I chose to handle things that way because I’ve grown from the insecure girl I was before. Not gonna lie, I still follow “D” on some social media platforms but only because I want to be reminded of what I don’t want and what I deserve.
If you’re in a situation that you’re not satisfied in, then leave. Its gonna hurt but you have to. Take yourself out on dates. Find out what you like and what makes you happy. Write down a specific list of what you want in a mate. I’m doing those things and its only a matter of time before things come to manifest for me in the love department. Also, look at the type of guy you want from your list. If you want filet mignon you don’t need someone who’s beef flavored ramen noodles. That’s really important. Don’t tell yourself there’s no good men out there and don’t tell yourself you don’t deserve to be treated like a princess because sister YOU DO!
Here’s the lyric video of Ariana Grande’s new song. Hope you enjoy it
Nessa D 