It’s been kinda a minute sinceI posted on a Sunday but man oh man…I’ve been going through it! However, I am back with what I consider a major life update: I’ve gotten baptized! It was a hectic week of me driving from Miami (grandma was in the hospital) to Tampa back to Miami then to Orlando (to move).
It’s a huge commitment and isn’t one to be taken lightly. It has taken me years and years and I have finally decided to get it together and give my life to God. Again, this isn’t something to take lightly and it is a vow to God that you will live your life for him and live by his principles and do HIS will.
Growing up, I was raised in a semi divided household. My grandpa was a deacon in a Baptist church and my aunt was a Jehovah’s Witness (Yes we are Christian by the way, some people think we’re not) so I would go to church with her and still have holidays with my grandpa. However, the line was crossed at Halloween.
Anyway, when I was in college in Tallahassee, I’ve been going to church with my family and not living life the way I was raised. I felt guilty of course but I also wanted to experience life outside of my little bubble I considered myself to be in. MAN DID I EXPERIENCE WHAT LIFE HAD TO OFFER. Things were just harder, no matter how much I would tithe or fast. Things weren’t going right for me. I would get prayed over and would have prophecies about my life (that haven’t came to pass if I might add). I was feeling really low (being depressed without a relationship with God is tough) and one day I decided to really get with God.
When my grandpa died, I was determined to read the Bible from Genesis to Revelations. I wanted to have him talk to me, not have him talk to someone else for me. I would read my Bible and pray to him at night. I did have the New World Translation version so I had a teen Bible that I would use, but still I prayed to him and used his name: Jehovah (Romans 10:13). Eventually I was able to get the translation that I wanted but I found it difficult to understand but I did not give up.
I then started incorporating the daily text (or devotional) in my nightly routine along with my Bible reading. I made sure to never skip a day of reading them, even if I didn’t read the Bible that night. Things were moving along and I was happy. I’m not sure why, but my aunt would periodically send me publications and I was so grateful for it. I’d read each magazine countless times and watch videos on their website over and over. I had this hunger for Bible knowledge and I felt like God was pulling me closer to him.
Jehovah never gave up on me even though I gave up on myself numerous times.
There were plenty of ups and downs and like after the car accident that changed my life, things were changing for me. There was a shift in family dynamics and I felt like I wanted to get back to my roots. Was things easy for me when I searched again for that missing piece in my life? No! When you go through a friendship breakup, it messes up with you. I felt alone. I felt depressed but in the midst of that, I decided to build a personal Bible study routine. I would pick up a book and on Mondays, I would go chapter by chapter through the publications and read my Bible afterward. Little did I know I was making a personal study routine and I guess God took notice to it. Eventually, JWs came to the store (randomly came to me) and we struck up a conversation and things snowballed from there.
Each week, we’d meet up for my Bible study. Eventually, started going back to church with them and man was I nervous. I didn’t know what people would think. I’ve been to that particular location before because my aunt went to that one when she was in college and I’d go with her when I’d visited her during school breaks growing up. Let me tell you, I felt such a warmth and I felt safe. I didn’t go every Sunday but I went when I could. Things were progressing and then I got a job and moved to Orlando!
I was still determined to read my Bible but I was still kinda dipping my toes in things that I shouldn’t have, like celebrating birthdays and such. Then in 2020, my cousin reached out and asked if I wanted to study the Bible with her and I said yes! It was during the start of quarantine and it felt right. I, again, was making progress and even though I had my low moments, moments when I didn’t want to continue living anymore, I never gave up and neither did God. I made progress spiritually and every time I’d think, no I could never do that, God would show me otherwise.
I’m a mess. I’m a mess of a person. I still sometimes don’t see my worth but somehow God still finds time to love me. He takes us when we’re broken and makes us whole. We live in an awful world right now and thankfully, I know God and I’m cultivating a friendship with him. That’s what made me want to dedicate my life to him. I used to ask “Why Me?” when troubles would come but now I ask “why me?” because I’m in awe of his love for me. The fact that Jesus sacrificed his life for me, so that I may have a relationship and a friendship with his Father. He sees me and I love him and thank him for it. I’ve been living life for myself and doing things my way and you know what? It was time for a change. It was time for me to live my life for him and do things HIS way.
It took a long bumpy road but I finally made it and y’all this is only the beginning. I don’t know what he will use me for in his service. I don’t know what my future has in store but I know that as long as I continue to put HIM first, I will never fail. It’s not going to be easy. I will encounter more challenges and temptations but as long as I’m being obedient to him, I will be fine, no matter the persecution I face or hardships that might come my way.
If you’re baptized, what helped you make your decision?