Lifestyle

Is Love Truly Blind?

Hey y’all!

There’s a brand new season of one of my favorite shows, Love is Blind, on Netflix. As I watched it, I got to thinking: is love like truly blind? If you’ve never watched or heard of the show, it’s basically an experiment in which you date a number of people at once sight unseen. For a total 10 days, you date around until you feel like you found someone to connect with. Once you find that person, you get engaged and can see each other right away with the idea that you will get married two-three weeks later at the wedding ceremony. The point of the experiment is to see if you can truly fall in love with someone based on conversation and not looks (although let’s be real, a lot of the people who get picked to be on the show are relatively good looking).

I mean I know the rapper Eve’s song Love is Blind but I always thought of the chorus as a warning: Love is blind/And it will take over your mind/What you think is love/Is truly not/You need to elevate and find. But is love actually blind?

I think about marriage a lot and what goes into choosing a great marriage mate. Now I may know what you’re thinking, didn’t you give up on finding someone? Yes I did sadly but while I had the hope of getting married, I had to get a clear picture of what made a great marriage mate. Now, obviously looks matter somewhere. I mean you have to be attractive to the person, however, looks should NOT be the only factor. Just following your heart (Jeremiah 17:9) and just going with your feelings can be a dangerous slippery slope and can lead to heartache.

As someone who is embracing her christianity, I tend to look to the Bible on guidance for selecting a marriage mate. Some people may not think of how the Bible gives us pointers on what we should look for in a mate and you can get a clear sense of if you’re ready for marriage yet. It’s not an outdated book by any means.

Am I ready to get married? The following questions are things you can ask yourself to see if you’re actually ready for that commitment:

  • How do you treat your parents and/or siblings? How do you treat other people? Are you harsh with them? Lose self-control? What would they say about you?
  • Are you optimistic or pessimistic? Do you insist on things only going your way? Do you keep calm when under pressure? Are you patient?
  • How are you with money? Are you in debt? Do you have a job? Is it a steady job? Do you jump from job to job? If you have trouble managing your money now, how will you manage when you have a family or combine income with your mate? Is there a bad habit you should work on?
  • What are your spiritual attributes? Do you read your Bible daily? Do you have a relationship with God? Do you put God first? Have you set spiritual goals? Do you need to work on your spiritual attributes?
  • Are you generous? Hardworking? Easy to get along with? Loyal to God? Are you selfless and self-sacrificing?

What should you look for in a marriage mate? Again, I’m a Christian so I’m speaking from a Christianity standpoint. If you’re not a Christian, then look into your own religion for your standpoint, although most of the criteria would be good across the board.

  • Godly Devotion. If you both have a devotion to God, things will be easier. I know there are marriages with people who have different religions and some make it work. For others, problems arise. When couples have a relationship with God in the center, they are united morally, spiritually, and mentally. Study the Bible together. Worship together. Join each other in spiritual activities and Christian meetings.
  • Apply Bible Principles. Want to know what the Bible say about attributes of a good husband or good wife? Read Ephesians 5:22 -23. There needs to be a mutual respect and love for each other. It requires a wholehearted commitment because times are challenging and you will have ups and downs.
  • Deciding when to get married. You shouldn’t rush it or feel pressured into it. It takes time. It’s a HUGE and LIFELONG commitment. Remember, God hates divorce (Malachi 2:15 & 16; Mark 10: 9) and we should take the same viewpoint as him. I know that’s how society views divorce, if it doesn’t work out then leave. The divorce rate is 50%. Not good at all! You need to really know if this is what you really want.
  • Respect for your roles. A husband should use Jesus and the love he showed others as an example for how he should treat his wife. The husband is the head of household, however, that doesn’t mean he’s an authoritative ruler. It doesn’t mean he’s better than his wife. A wife helps her husband and supports him in his role as the family head. A husband should listen to his wife’s input. He shouldn’t abuse her or mistreat her. Be forgiving of each other’s shortcomings and try to respectfully and lovingly resolve issues. It takes humility in both roles to make things work.
  • Know what you want. Do you want kids? Do you want to travel more? Are you someone who can live on a lot less? What do you want in life? What are you values? What is expected of you? Are you willing to look out for the other person’s interest?

The previous tips are great for anyone: single, dating, or married. If you’re single, look to implement these tips or when you’re dating someone, see if the person has the attributes. If you’re married, see if you need to make adjustments!

If married, what has helped you in choosing your marriage mate?

Photo by Caio on Pexels.com

XOXO,

Nessa D.

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