So lately, actually scratch that. Every now and then I like to sit back and reflect over my life: where I am and where I’ve been and I must say, I’m truly blessed. God has blessed me so much and sometimes its necessary for us to reflect on it. Have I reached all my goals (like being a home owner, a wife, and a mom).
Let me paint a very real picture of where I was at a point in my life and how I’ve come and how God has blessed me. I once was homeless. At a couple of times in my life, I didn’t even have a bed to sleep on. I used to sleep on the floor or on an exercise mat. I used to have to choose between having gas in my car so that I can go to work or having something to eat, even though I’d just gotten paid but my bills were over taking me. I once used to just degrade myself hoping that the guy I liked would want me back only for them to play me like a dummy (speaking of, one reached out to me lately and I was like not today satan). I would walk up hill to my apartment in the rain, cold, or heat of the summer because there wasn’t a bus stop near where I lived. Me and my cousins would scrape together change that we had laying around the house just to get some gas in the car.
That’s just scratching the surface. My college years were real rough. Growing without my mom was rough (yes my dad died when I was a baby but I legit have no memory of him). Growing up with people making fun of me because of the way I looked and my bad teeth (y’all my teeth were BAD). Feeling misunderstood because I liked a certain type of music. It was pretty easy to take advantage of me because I was naive and inexperienced so it wasn’t hard for people who I would’ve thought was my friend to play me. I was touched in appropriately as a child once by a stranger in public and while I was in college once, someone (I won’t name names but I cal him Satan) ignored my no’s and did what he wanted (if you can read between the lines). Through it all, I’m still here.
My point with all of this is, sometimes I get a little sad or angry about what happened in the past. Hell, I remember when there was a point in my life where I wanted the things and problems that I now have. I’m glad that the things (and lets be honest the guys) I wanted before isn’t even on my radar anymore. I don’t know f this ever happens to you but sometimes when Facebook do those throwback pics, I look at those pics and just shake my head at the broken person I was before. I thank God for growth cause baby, I was a HOT MESS.
Focusing on the past can hold you back from your true potential. If you’re constantly looking back, how can you see where you’re going? Remember Lot’s wife (yes I’m referring to the Bible). If you’re unfamiliar with that story, basically God was rescuing Lot and his family from being destroyed. He was trying to help them and he told them to run away and (literally) never look back. What did Lot’s wife do? She looked back and legit turned into a pillar of salt! She lost her life focusing on something she was running away from.
The only time you should look back or focus on your past is when you are reflecting on how far you came. We can’t go back in time and change things. We should only focus on how things are currently and how we can either make better choices or how we can elevate our lives. It will keep you grounded and humble thats for sure. Don’t get it twisted. You can use your past to propel you. Sometimes you gotta share YOUR story with others so that you can bless them and inspire them.
What if you had a dream that you never pursued or didn’t work out? Well, that’s when you need to re-direct. I know some people say never give up on your dreams but sometimes there are times you need to throw in the towel. Sometimes, things just don’t work out but you know what? It could be a good thing. It’s really difficult to walk away from something that you put your heart and soul into but what if you were misusing your life’s purpose?
Let’s say you were in an unhealthy relationship. Let it go. How about when your dreams or goals in life isn’t in line with who you are now or where you want to go? You gotta let it go and pivot. What if there’s a goal that you really wanted but you really felt depressed, mad, and miserable? Is it worth it? Let it go. If you’re scared of what people will think if you quit because something isn’t really working out for you, are you doing this goal for other people or is it for you? If not, you need to stop. If the path you’re going down is hurting you and not helping you, you need to quit. If you truly look at yourself and the choices that you’ve made and you HATE who or what you have become, you need to let it go. When you give up on something and you feel lighter and better, then you know you should’ve let go of that dream or goal a long time ago.
Leaving your past in the past will free you. Letting go of things (and people) that can hurt you will free you. Allow yourself to be free. Check out my post about letting things go and letting God guide your life.
What do you need to free yourself from?