Nessa D

Hey y’all!

This past week, Khloe Kardashian caused a bit of a stir. Now here is my disclaimer before I go too far in deep. I have a love hate relationship with the Kardashians. Like Kourtney, she’s honestly my favorite (like I love her) but the other ones get on my nerves. Kim, slightly reminds me of me (we Libra’s so we def got some similarities) I just can’t get down with some of their choices. I used to love Khloe but then she started going after guys her friends were with and taking people’s men and again, can’t get down like that. People used to call her Shrek and the ugly sister and they were so critical of her looks that I honestly felt bad for her. They would call her fat when she wasn’t even fat.Was she bigger compared to her sisters? Yes but she was never fat.

Those types of comments would bother anyone so before you think I’m being super hard on her, I’m not. Here is my thing. Be real. Be honest. Not every moment in your life will be perfect or glamorous and it sucks that society puts this pressure on us to be perfect and beautiful when, beauty is subjective. What one person finds beautiful someone else might not find attractive and thats okay. There’s someone out there for anybody (speaking of, where tf is my person?!). My own beauty journey has been…a journey lol. I legit found myself yesterday looking at other girls and comparing my body to theirs and how I’m not skinny like them. I’m (in my opinion) kind of round and out of shape and I don’t look like other girls so I’m super self-conscious about my body and how I look. I’m learning to love my body and accept who I am and treat my body better. I’m trying to love the skin I’m in.

If you’re wondering what the latest Kardashian “scandal” is, allow me to catch you up. Now this is the abridged version of what’s going on. Khloe’s assistant posted an unedited picture of her online and she quickly worked hard to take the picture down. she later posted an “unedited” (we know how they roll) pic of her later and she gave her explanation of why she took the pic down (if you want to see the photo that started this mess, click here). The picture was of her standing near a pool in a bikini. The photo showed a normal body and it got lots of positive comments actually. There was nothing wrong with the photo but because it was unedited, she took it down. Her explanation was that it was an unauthorized photo and she has the right to take it down. She also stated that she “present myself to the world the way I want to be seen and it’s exactly what I will continue to do unapologetically…my body, my image and how I choose to look and what I want to share is my choice. It’s not for anyone to decide or judge what is acceptable or not anymore”.

She’s kind of right. However, she put herself out there with her tv show and social media and whatever you choose to put out or show is subject to judgement. It’s also such a cop out. Like, she don’t want people to judge her but she’s an influencer. She’s a powerful figure and she knows it. She uses her platform to push products and topics that’s she deems important. Nothing wrong with that, but as part of being an influencer, you influence people. Whether she intended to or not, she influences people. It’s so sad to see how people by into what they are pushing as far as their looks go. She didn’t like how she looked so she changed it (obviously through surgery) and instead of owning it, she lies and said she didn’t do anything to alter her looks or she won’t address it at all.

I would’ve loved it if she (and the others out there) be honest and say you know what, I wasn’t comfortable with how I looked so I decided to do something about it and this is it. To say she got that body by only working out, that’s a lie. I mean cosmetic surgery is no cure all and you do have to workout to keep it up. If surgery gave her a leg up sort of speak, own it. A lot of influencers on social media like to get work done and pretend or lie that they didn’t get any work done. That bothers the fuck out of me. Like, why are you lying?

So before you all say I’m not understanding when it comes to Khloe Kardashian, that can be further from the truth. She did more damage in taking that photo down and putting up another pic instead. My problem comes in when people lie about things. If you got work done, own it. If you wasn’t feeling secure or you got a nose job or liposuction or any cosmetic procedure, own it. I know I would. For example, I don’t like my nose. Would I consider getting an ethnic rhinoplasty? Yep. When I have kids, do I want a mommy makeover? You bet! Am I also working on my inner self and doing the internal work? Yes!!!! Lauryn Bosstick from The Skinny Confidential is open and honest about the work that she gets done. She eats well and workout but needed a little help with surgery to become fully comfortable with her body and I am 100% here for it!

Do I love the way I look right now? No. I haven’t been showing much love to my body and started neglecting things and “letting myself go”. Something inside me recently made me take an honest look at myself and what I was doing and it was no wonder things got out of hand as it had. I was (and still am)determined to do better by my body and not abuse it. In fact, I’ve recently started adding in pilates in my workout routine and writing down my feelings and meals and keeping myself accountable with a food journal that I got from Blogilates. I’m still doing Tone It Up workouts but I just needed to add in some more flair. I’m also in therapy to give me valuable steps to building my self-esteem along with prayer to Jehovah.

Why is it that we allow society to determine what is beautiful? If we continue to depend on society for what is beautiful, we would never be happy with ourselves. We have to get to a place where we love who we see in the mirror. I’m currently reading a book called The Belles by Dhonielle Clayton and it is a dystopian story that deals with society’s beauty standards. One quote that stood out to me was: ” I’d do anything to be beautiful”. Do we not see that in society and on social media? People willing to die and risk their life just to be considered beautiful? Girls in elementary school concerned with what they look like? What I do love now is how there’s this body positivity push and I’m here for it. I love how more and more women (and men…men need representation too for all bodies) are pushing back on society’s standards and are saying aa big FUCK YOU.

One video that helps me with my self mage can be found here. Or you can check out these helpful articles here and here.

What are some things that have helped you with your self-esteem? How do you feel about society’s beauty standards?

XOXO,

LolaDasher