Love Yo’Self

Hey y’all!

For this post, I have a very special guest. It’s Valentine’s Day and since its a day of love, I thought that it would be nice to have a little post from a friend of mine that I met through the Tone It Up community (it’s honestly such a Godsend). Introducing Audrey. She’s the babe I took my very ever twerk class from (check out this post here). I’m so inspired by her journey ad her story. I love her so much! I’ve learned to embrace my body, see myself as sexy, and to burst out of my comfort zone. She’s a super cool chick and I think you’d love her just as much! Please read as she drops some knowledge on all things self love:

Self love is all the rage these days on social media. Your favorite influencers tell you what they did for self care/self love almost every day. You see it on t-shirts in Target. It’s in all the self help books. But what is self love really?

Self love is all the rage these days on social media. Your favorite influencers tell you what they did for self care/self love almost every day. You see it on t-shirts in Target. It’s in all the self help books. But what is self love really?

For me, self love has been a long, hard journey & it is something that I have to work on everyday. Self love is about compassion for my mistakes and flaws, hope for my future, and gentleness with myself in each moment. However easy those things may come for me to give to others, they are a hell of a lot harder for me to give to myself. As womxn, we are constantly under scrutiny from society and its internalized societal norms that we feed into internally and externally each day. We feel we must check off all the boxes in order to deserve love, to be worthy. But that’s not the case.

Whether you are religious or agnostic, I believe that there is one truth: we are intrinsically worthy. If you are religious, it’s because God made you worthy from the moment you were created. If you are agnostic, it’s because we are created from the matter that created the universe which makes us exponentially worthy (& if we’re made of stardust that’s pretty amazing too). Every human being is worthy. Every human being deserves love.

How can we take this belief and turn it into self love? For me, I held onto the belief that we are all inherently worthy and repeated it to myself over and over again anytime I doubted myself or let the negative self talk begin. I thought about all the people who matter to me and how I mean something to them. And I wrote a letter to myself in my journal about why it was time I started mattering to myself, and I mean REALLY mattering (not just exercising and eating greens to be healthy). In order to really love myself, I needed to embrace my mind, body, and soul.

I started by telling myself I was beautiful and put sticky notes on my mirrors so I would always have a reminder even if I was having a bad day. I decided to start speaking to myself, rather than listening to that negative voice in my head telling me I wasn’t good enough; I would argue back and shut those thoughts down. Weekly therapy sessions have been my saving grace – giving me an unbiased outlet to vent, cope, & sort through it all. I started doing exercises I actually wanted to do, not what some pretty thin fitness influencer told me was their favorite. I listened to my body – rested when it wanted rest, ate french fries or a smoothie when it wanted it, cried when it needed it. I started nurturing my inner child and really listening to her. And that’s how I started to fall in love with myself again.

I can’t promise it’ll be the same journey for you but I can tell you that maybe even if you think one thing I listed above would help you, I urge you to take a leap of faith and start loving on yourself. Because once you start, it’s a snowball effect and you won’t be able to get enough self love.

*Additional self love tips: buy yourself something sexy and look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself just how gorgeous you are (and if you’re up to it, take a photoshoot! When I’m down on myself and I look back on photos of myself when I felt confident, it instantly boosts my mood); buy yourself a new sex toy and spend some solo time exploring your sexual needs/desires (Check out love crave! It’s a female run company that creates amazing products for female pleasure); take a twerk class and release your feminine power through dance! (Virtual twerk lessons coming soon to @peachyqueenaudrey)

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For me, self love has been a long, hard journey & it is something that I have to work on everyday. Self love is about compassion for my mistakes and flaws, hope for my future, and gentleness with myself in each moment. However easy those things may come for me to give to others, they are a hell of a lot harder for me to give to myself. As womxn, we are constantly under scrutiny from society and its internalized societal norms that we feed into internally and externally each day. We feel we must check off all the boxes in order to deserve love, to be worthy. But that’s not the case.

Whether you are religious or agnostic, I believe that there is one truth: we are intrinsically worthy. If you are religious, it’s because God made you worthy from the moment you were created. If you are agnostic, it’s because we are created from the matter that created the universe which makes us exponentially worthy (& if we’re made of stardust that’s pretty amazing too). Every human being is worthy. Every human being deserves love.

How can we take this belief and turn it into self love? For me, I held onto the belief that we are all inherently worthy and repeated it to myself over and over again anytime I doubted myself or let the negative self talk begin. I thought about all the people who matter to me and how I mean something to them. And I wrote a letter to myself in my journal about why it was time I started mattering to myself, and I mean REALLY mattering (not just exercising and eating greens to be healthy). In order to really love myself, I needed to embrace my mind, body, and soul.

I started by telling myself I was beautiful and put sticky notes on my mirrors so I would always have a reminder even if I was having a bad day. I decided to start speaking to myself, rather than listening to that negative voice in my head telling me I wasn’t good enough; I would argue back and shut those thoughts down. Weekly therapy sessions have been my saving grace – giving me an unbiased outlet to vent, cope, & sort through it all. I started doing exercises I actually wanted to do, not what some pretty thin fitness influencer told me was their favorite. I listened to my body – rested when it wanted rest, ate french fries or a smoothie when it wanted it, cried when it needed it. I started nurturing my inner child and really listening to her. And that’s how I started to fall in love with myself again.

I can’t promise it’ll be the same journey for you but I can tell you that maybe even if you think one thing I listed above would help you, I urge you to take a leap of faith and start loving on yourself. Because once you start, it’s a snowball effect and you won’t be able to get enough self love.

*Additional self love tips: buy yourself something sexy and look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself just how gorgeous you are (and if you’re up to it, take a photoshoot! When I’m down on myself and I look back on photos of myself when I felt confident, it instantly boosts my mood); buy yourself a new sex toy and spend some solo time exploring your sexual needs/desires (Check out love crave! It’s a female run company that creates amazing products for female pleasure); take a twerk class and release your feminine power through dance! (Virtual twerk lessons coming soon to @peachyqueenaudrey)

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