Within recent years, I’ve been starting to get interested in manifestation. I didn’t dive too deep into it but I’ve been getting more and more interested. Towards the end of last year, I really made the decision to try it out and actually see what I can manifest. Now I’ve always loved making vision boards. I remember making my first one during the last semester of undergrad and it was pretty cool to see the things that I put on it manifested so I’m not a total newbie to manifestations.
Since then, I’ve been slowly trying to get more into manifestations but I’ve been apprehensive. I first heard about manifestations from blogger and author Cara Alwill and so I’ve wanted to try it. I drew the line at crystals because at the time I saw it as something to do with spiritism (actually I still believe it’s spiritism) because the Bible says that any form of spiritism is bad! I was scared that if I got involved with that, I’d be making God’s heart sad that I was going against what I was taught growing up.
I also used to have super vivid dreams! It’s actually stopped lately and I’m not sure why but when I was around my cousins (I don’t maybe it was the spiritual connections or something) but I would get dreams that would legit come true. For examples, I’ve had dreams about my crush that has came true, about family stuff that has come true. Here is the thing, it may not happen exactly as it as in my dream but pretty much the situation would happen. For example, with my cousin, when we were on the outs and we were really drifting apart, I dreamt about a funeral and how I didn’t know about it and everyone was mad at me. I immediately took it as our relationship is pretty much dead and…a week later, it was true. Our friendship was officially over. With my crush, when he wasn’t talking to me, I was freaking out and I legit had a dream where he told me that he just needed time and that he’d always be there to support me…a week or two later, in real life, he started talking to me again. Those were just a couple of examples but I used to save some crazy dreams.
Last year, however, was the first time I got some crystals. I wrote down my goals for the year and I put it all out there in the universe…kinda. I still do not get involved with tarot and stuff like that. I did, however, get some affirmation cards so that I can get into the habit of doing affirmations. Apparently, if you do affirmations everyday you get into the habit of calling things into your life. I haven’t actually done a great job at that. Like I’ll look at my cards on Sundays but then I’d just put it down and forget about it.
Another thing I started to get into was meditating. The “Toned Body, Toned Mind” program from Tone It Up was so helpful with that because it got me into the habit of meditating everyday! I was so happy. Teaching is such a stressful and meditations have helped me to relax more. I struggle with anxiety and depression so meditating has helped me to breath a little better and it helps me to calm down. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a cure all, but it helps.
To be honest, I’ve been meditating less and less these days and I feel so conflicted inside. In fact, I’m feeling conflicted about a lot of this stuff. The crystals, the meditations, the cards…all of it. As mentioned before in a previous post, I love Harry Potter, I love looking at my horoscopes and that’s totally going against what’s in the Bible. I feel really bad about it because I’m sure Jehovah is not happy with the choices that I make. It’s honestly kind of hard for me to break these habits. You may be wondering why meditations are wrong. Well, meditating involves clearing the mind and focusing on words or phrases to bring you to spiritual enlightenment. On the contrast, when you meditate on what the Bible says, you are focusing on what you read and the principals and focus on wholesome topics.
Recently, my therapist suggested that I watch “The Secret” on Netflix. I did watch it but y’all omg I am hooked. I ordered the smart planner, which has affirmations that I can write in it, I also ordered more cards for affirmations but this time, I look at the same card for a week (it’s a 52 card deck) and then the next week, I just choose another card to focus on for the week. I also did my very first real manifestation ritual last month! I was so scared (because you know…God) but I was just tired of sitting here being single so I did a little manifestation ritual that I saw on a YouTube video (one of the videos is on the bottom of this post). As part of the ritual, I wrote down a list of manifestations (what I want to happen) and burned the sheet (I made sure to take a pic of my list). With the ashes, I put them in water and then poured the water into a planted succulent (for grounding). Not sure if I did it right but afterwards I felt so guilty so maybe my guilt blocked my manifestations. In order for them to work, you have to be aligned with them. Think positively and put in the work. If you don’t have either of them, they will not work. I was not in a positive headspace after doing that ritual.
When I did that, my heart felt heavy. I had let Jehovah down. I started dabbling more into spiritism. I’m currently at a cross road. I know for sure, when it come to tarot cards and spirit mediums, I refuse to cross that line. I’ve went to palm readers and that was when I was in a really low place spiritually and I felt real bad about it, even to this day (again, I was brought up as a Jehovah’s Witness and spiritism is a no-no). I’m so tired of sitting on the sidelines and watching all these people in relationships. I was tired of coming home every day to my cat and of crying every weekend because I was waking up alone. The heaviness in my heart that I feel every day knowing that I’m alone romantically and I’m not getting any younger. Feeling like I can barely hold my head above water. I want kids. I want a family. I want a full life. Maybe I should be more patient but, right now? It’s hard.
Everyday when I’m going to work, I have to blast Ariana Grande’s song “Just Like Magic”, which has some affirmations in it. It helps me to get pumped for the day and on the way home, I listen to “Mood 4Ever” by Beyonce, which is a song that celebrates life. You see, songs tend to get stuck in my head, especially when I’m trying to go to sleep. So if that song has to be stuck in my head, at least I’d be hearing affirmations repeating in my head.
Affirmations are words that are powerful. They carry a special meaning behind them. They are positive phrases that if spoken continually and often can bring about a positive change in your life. They can challenge negative thoughts. It can help you to motivate yourself and can boost self-esteem. According to Positive Chopra.com, some benefits of affirmations are:
- They help you become more aware of your thoughts. Once you notice that you’re making negative comments often, you can start to curb it.
- Things in your life will start flowing better
- They help to bring in blessings and gifts
- They help you keep things in perspective. Not everything is seen as this big problem, which can make things seem a lot worse. You won’t sweat the small stuff.
- They keep you in a constant state of gratitude and when you are grateful, things just feel so much better for you. You become a more positive person and positive things seems to be drawn to you.
- You will begin to be more kinder and you’ll begin to spread that positivity.
- It’s great for your heart! Since you’re not as stress, you’ll have a healthier heart.
Not sure if it will work but this year I am diving deep on this manifestation journey.
Do you enjoy woo woo things too? Do you practice affirmations?