Nessa D

Hey y’all!

It has been FOREVER since I’ve written a blog post and I will not lie, things have been hectic at work and things have been emotionally crazy to be honest. Instead of just being silent and just not saying anything, I wanted to update you all with what was going on over in my life lol.

The Book

I’m still writing the book! Actually I’m done writing it! I am just in the editing stages. I’m super excited about it. When I got done with the first draft, I was filled with a shit ton of emotions. I was super excited because I mean this is legit something I’ve always wanted to do my entire life and it was finally happening. I was and still am a bit nervous because what will people think of me? I was really raw and honest about my mental health journey and all the struggles I’ve dealt with but I’m scared of what my friends and family would think when they read it. Will they even read it at all? I can only be true to myself and honestly at the end of the day, i’m doing something I’ve always wanted to do AND if my story can be a testimony and a blessing to someone else, then I’m satisfied.

I’m not sure how this book will do but at least I’m doing something I’ve always dreamt of doing! Of course when it finally get published and released I will do a story and maybe I might sell some merchandise as well just to like celebrate! It should be done this month but we shall see. Things at work have been…hectic which I’ll dive into later in this post. I’ve been looking at Sarah Ordo’s Self Publishing course (which if you interested in it or any other courses she offered, you can find them here) a few times just to make sure things are correct!

Workouts

Tone It Up’s TIU4YOU program (you can sign up here if you want to join) starts tomorrow and I’m pretty excited! To be honest, I haven’t been working out like I should. I usually try to stay on top of my workouts but again, things at work have been crazy and there were days when I would go to work, come home and then continue to work and so I pushed aside my workouts to get some work done. Obviously didn’t enjoy that at all! I was tired all the time. I wasn’t giving my body the self care it needed and I just didn’t want to wait until the fall challenge to start working out again, so I worked out some days (like 4 days) this past week as opposed to my usual 6-7 days. I’ve also decided to add on The Skinny Confidential’s TSC Body Guide App. They have a 12 week program on there and the workouts are usually like 15 min and I use (or would like to) it 3 times a week. So I’m really excited for this challenge. I’ve been slowly incorporating meal planning into the mix and will also try intermittent fasting as well!

Work Life

Work has been….insane. First of all there’s still the pandemic going on.Teaching kids at home and in the class at the same time is hard as fuck. It is def not for the faint at heart. I’m trying to keep track of all the kids who are coming and the kids who aren’t coming. I’m reaching out to parents via email or phone calls. It’s so hard chasing them down. However grades are due on my birthday which is technically next week (yikes) and I’m grading every single assignment.

I have students getting frustrated with me because I was taking “too long” to grade their work (even though they turned the work in hella late plus I have over 100 students), parents getting mad that their child’s grades were terrible (even though I reached out to both of them) and planning new lessons, grading all the late work, and trying to make sure all my students took their diagnostic exams. Plus, I was dealing with a few challenges in the class as well like making sure my kiddos were engaged, making sure my classroom itself was inviting and up to par. Its like I’m wearing so many hats and it has been a true struggle. Plus, I found out that my most challenging student is being abused at home so of course my heart broke for him and that itself was emotionally draining. I’m just so scared of things being like how it was last year and even though my situation is much better, I don’t want things to end how they dealt at my old school and in my old district so that’s another source of my stress. It’s a lot y’all! By the way, if you want to help support my classroom (because this teacher is broke af no lie), you can def donate some products by purchasing some items off of my amazon wishlist here!

My Birthday

My birthday is next week. Normally I’d be excited but first of all, it’s still a pandemic going on but like I’m all alone in Orlando lol. Like the majority of my friends are not here. Now I have been becoming closer to a couple of people here and I’m super grateful for them because without them, I’d really feel all alone. Besides, it’s really nice to have some teacher friends with people who are genuinely good people and they understand what you’re going through. But like my besties are not here. I’m still single. I’m just now starting my career so I’m making much more than when I was having a part time job, it’s still not a lot of money. Like there’s a reason why there are teachers out there with more than one job (also I work at a charter school which is already less than what a district would pay anyway). So I’m not married, don’t have kids, basically I’m not where I imagined I’d be by now for my life. I know and understand that there’s no real timeline in life but I just really want to be settled. Thats what I really want in life.

Plus, I’ve been low key in a reminiscent mood lately just reflecting on back in the day when I was a kid and things were much simpler (seriously, one night I went down a rabbit hole and found songs we sang in music class in elementary school…like y’all). Another reason I’ve been slightly freaking out is that well my mom died when she was 28 and it’s crazy to think that I’ve surpassed her lifetime and how young she was and basically, if she’d be proud of me if she was here. Like I miss her like crazy and I just can’t believe (I realize now) how young she was when she passed away. I will be at work on my birthday (its a teacher work day and grades are due on that day) but I don’t know. Maybe I’ll make myself some mac n cheese. Who knows what this next year will bring.

I hope you all can understand why I’ve been silent on my end. I’m trying to find a balance to this whole work/life thing. Thank God for therapy!

XOXO,

LolaDasher