Anyway, the original plan was for my roomie to join her boyfriend at a lake house on Friday, then we’d go to the fair Saturday, then I’d take her to the Marc Anthony concert on Sunday as an early birthday gift to her. Well, upon leaving work Friday I heard that the concert was pushed back for April (boo!), then on Saturday Karina said we’d go to the fair Sunday and asked if I’d like to come out to where they were instead.
Before they actually invited me out, on Saturday morning, I started to feel sad or I started to feel as if I was living my life with regret. I was feeling really down about me being single and alone. It was not a great way to start my day. I burned my palo santo stick, did some yoga, and meditated. I was trying to do everything I could to shake this funk I was starting to get myself into. I still felt terrible. When I brought my journal out to start journaling, that’s when I got a text message from Karina of her inviting me to come out to where they were and she even got an uber for me (y’all, this place was like an hr away mind you). How could I say no?
I rushed to get ready but I went. In the car on the way there, I looked up at the sky in the window and saw: “U + GOD”. I felt like it was God telling me that he had my back. Okay, maybe he wasn’t exactly saying that but it reminded me that he was with me no matter what. That he would provide for me even if I didn’t deserve it. There were times when I didn’t think I would make it and he’s made a way for me. Even back to the end of last year and how miserable I was and felt, he had me. He sustained me.
No lie, I felt like I was imposing. I mean it was their couple time. Who was I to get in the way of it. Now I will say this: my roomie and her boyfriend do an excellent job at making me feel apart of the group or inviting me out to places and not letting me feel alone. So I do appreciate them for that. Anyway, I felt bad about going (obviously went) and it did feel good to get out the house. I was alone with my thoughts and its times like that when I start to get into my head and start going over things that I messed up on or my past regrets. I just chuckled to myself though while I was there because it seems like every time I think I’m just going to stay in for the weekend, I don’t. I mean I’m totally grateful for it that people actually want to be around me.
Being out there on the lake was nice. It was beautiful to see God’s creation. It was nice to just let go and go with the flow of life. To stop worrying and start living. If you’re in a place in your life when doubt and worry begins to take over, just get out. Do something unplanned. Go with the flow and remember to stay grateful for what you have and the people who love you.