I Almost Died!

Hey guys!

No its not clickbait in the title. I literally almost died! I have been having a rough few weeks and I’ve just been riding the wave of it all. I don’t want to go through too much detail but its been rough. Honestly I’m totally proud of how I handled this whole situation this time around and I can definitely see my growth.

Yesterday, I was on my way to work and my brakes gave out on me. I tried to make it in to work and just drive slowly but my car would not stop at any red lights or stop signs (wasn’t trying to break the law on purpose I promise!). This is what’s crazy. Cops would always drive by after I pulled into a parking lot. When my car stopped into each parking lot, it gave me false hope that maybe I could make it to work and just leave my car at work. When I got near a super busy intersection, my car did not stop and proceeded to roll into traffic (or heading that way). I had to make a quick decision: either roll into oncoming traffic or go to the sidewalk and let the crosswalk pole stop my car. I chose the latter. Was I terrified? YES!

I was on the phone (had her on speaker) with my gal pal Karina and it was nice knowing that just in case something really bad happened, someone would know what happened to me. When my car stopped I was shaking and…ugh I was just so scared. I thought I was going to die. I could’ve been really injured or dead because the traffic was coming in heavy! I felt like this was the tipping point for me. The cherry on top to a crappy 3 weeks. I did thank Jehovah (I like to use God’s name), however, that things didn’t end of worse than it did. My friend Karina (she came through for me heavy yesterday) came quickly and picked me up. Stupidly, I tried to go to work still even after all of that. She talked some sense into me and I ended up calling out and getting my car towed to my apartment. All the while, I’m around the corner for the police station and I was informed that I could’ve been fined for having my car hitting the pole.

I went home feeling dejected. I felt cursed. Like I was doing something wrong in my life. I kept questing why. Then I remembered something. Two years ago, I got into a car accident. A truck hit me from behind after not paying attention and ran basically. I was having such a crappy week when that happened that I honestly wanted to die and this was just the tip of the iceberg. I immediately called my crush/friend and I was freaking tf out! I screamed. I was shaking. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. My car was pretty banged up too.

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How did I walk away from that?

Still to this day, I have anxiety when I drive. I felt like I hit rock bottom. I really wanted to give up on life at that point. That accident saved my life. It helped me see who was really there for me and my riders versus people who could care less or felt like I just needed to get over it. Things slowly started getting better after that. I started going to therapy. I got into grad school. I got a promotion at my job at the time and I got a better paying job working with my crush/friend. The impossible happened too. When people told me to just rid of the car, it got fixed. I got a new window and a new trunk (hence why my trunk is a different color now lol). I felt like things were working out for me! God really came through for me then and he came through for me now. The only thing that’s broken (besides my brakes) is my side mirror. I can easily fix that with some tape but I’m now going to focus on getting my car fixed.

I’m going to continue to work with what I have until about at least six months to a year when I can get a new one. I wrote all of this in hopes that maybe if you’re going through a tough time right now in your life that you feel like will never get better, know that it will. You have nowhere to go but up! I’m counting down the days when things will improve for me (and they actually will! I have a post on that coming soon). My faith and my positive thinking has got me thus far and I’m not going back to wanting to die (knock on wood). I was able to not lose my cool or let “Delores” get to me too much (she did make a pop visit). I’m grateful for friends who knew that I was down and did their best to cheer me up! I’m grateful for people who are actually praying for me and let me vent when I needed to get out my emotions. I hope that you find or have people in your life like that too.

So that’s my story. Cray, right? Whats helped you get through tough times?

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How the afternoon ended for me!
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So happy that these girls were in my corner to cheer me up
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Being silly through it all!

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