This weekend was sort of a challenge for me. Not in a bad way but it’s something that was out of my character. Let me back up a little. This weekend was the weekend of my family reunion. I didn’t want to go anyway to be honest (selfish much?). It was in Montgomery, Alabama and I just didn’t want to be around some people that I just don’t mesh with. I don’t want to go into too much detail but it was causing me emotional distress just thinking of it.
Here’s the truth: around the time our money was due for the reunion, I honestly was broke so I didn’t have the money. That same month, an opportunity presented itself and so not looking at the calendar I chose to go out of town the weekend of Memorial Day. I didn’t realize it was the same weekend as the reunion. My friend Karina said that she can take me down either at the end or at the beginning of the month so I chose the end to give me more time to earn more PTO (paid time off). When I told my aunt and grandma I was going to Kissimmee instead of to the reunion, they felt so so about it. My grandma reacted as though I was turning my back on my family and my aunt said she understood. Once I got her blessing, I requested off of work, booked and Air BNB and started planning some fun and free or low cost things for us to do!
Here’s the thing. I felt super guilty up until the night before we left. I felt like what I was doing was super selfish. I felt like everyone would talk bad about me. I felt like they were thinking that I was running away from my issues and maybe I was a little. I just didn’t want to stress out and feel bothered with arguments and the questioning of my life choices.Sure, some may say its only for a weekend. But have you been around people who bring your mood down? People who were toxic to you? People who belittled you? I didn’t want to spend my weekend in the country around that. It was for my peace of mind really.
Anyway, I think its ironic that this week as I was reading Sarah Ordo’s book, Thirty As F**k, and I came across a chapter about saying no to things that we just didn’t feel like doing. If it was not mandatory, like life or death, then why go and why apologize. We shouldn’t be forced to go to something that we just don’t want to do. We shouldn’t have to explain it to people. They should just be understanding and know that we don’t have to do things we don’t want to do. Thats the beauty of free will baby!
Let me tell you, that chapter made me feel a bit better. Especially when it comes to our mental well-being, saying no to things is such a freeing feeling. It shows that we’re putting ourselves first. For example, if you’re sober but your friends want to go to a paprty where there are drugs and alcohol, do you think it’ll be fair for your friends to be mad that you didn’t go to the party? But hey on the flip side if you really wanted to unwind and just chill inside and read while your friends wanted to go out, that’s fine too! My point is, it’s your world. Do you boo boo! It’s okay to say no to things that don’t serve you. It’s all right. Will someone die if you say no? Will saying no physically cause pain or misery to someone? Will saying yes to things that just don’t serve you cause you happiness? Heck no! So do you and don’t feel bad.
Check out my pics from my trip to Kissimmee! I had a blast!
See? Living her best life