Table for one!

Hi guys! I just got home from an event, called the Muggle Shuffle, which is a bar crawl for Harry Potter enthusiasts. Last year I went and I had such an amazing time and so I was really excited when it came around for this year. I’m a huge Harry Potter fan. I’m a Hufflepuff,I have a tattoo of “Always” (which has huge significance to me in the books), my patronus is a Siberian cat, and I have a kitten named Gryffindor (I actually didn’t name him. The shelter did but talk about fate!). Anyway, last year I went to the bar crawl with a group and I loved it. This year, however, I went by myself. MYSELF!! I had so much anxiety prior to going. Going to places alone is something that I’ve recently started doing (like last year, 2017, is when I went to the movies by myself for the first time).

My original plan was just to visit each location and get my drink and go. When I came to the second location, however, I said fuck it. I went to the hostess and said, “table for one” and sat down and ordered food. I sat there and ate my food and reflected on my anxiety of the evening. I thought about how in February I went to Universal’s Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando BY MYSELF. I remember last year (which is crazy to think about it) someone was trying to use the Harry Potter world as leverage for me to do what she wanted to do (because she knows how badly I wanted to go). She offered to pay for me to go and everything as long as I did what she wanted me to do. Literally, that was the last time I actually saw her in person. After that situation, I was done. So for me to go to Orlando, by myself, and go to Universal, by myself, and I paid for my ticket, I was proud. Scared but proud. I’ve always wanted to go there and now I’ve been. I felt like I can conquer anything!

When I reminded myself of that, I began to feel a bit better. Being alone is not going to stop me from having fun and living my life. The idea first came to me from blogger and self-published author Cara Alwill Leyba. She talked about dating herself and getting to know herself and the strength that comes from it and honestly, I was like YEAH RIGHT. Thats crazy, right? Dating yourself? It reminded me of the story of a woman who married herself. Thats what I thought of as she shared that concept, determined never to stoop that low. One day, for no reason, I wanted to go the movies and I didn’t feel like asking anyone to come with me, so I went by myself. Was I scared? Hell yes! I was scared someone was gonna think that I was a loser. I went and guess what: I SURVIVED. The world didn’t stop. I didn’t die. Everything was going to be okay lol. A few months after that, I took myself out to eat. For the words “table for one” to come out of my mouth was such a struggle, but I did it. I sat at the table, ordered a cocktail and a salad and felt so insecure. I thought people were going to judge me for eating alone but if the badass girl boss Cara could do it, then I could do it. Little by little I started treated myself to things that I would expect a boyfriend to do for me, like by myself flowers. Cara mentioned it in several books and Sarah Ordo, a bad ass business babe herself, mentioned the subject of dating yourself in her two books as well, which gave me the confidence to do so myself (They’ve also landed very supportive partners so…hey there’s hope for me yet).

I said this long story to let you know that it’s okay to be alone. The world won’t stop because you go out somewhere by yourself. Its actually kind of sexy because you excuse this confidence that lets the world know that you’re a bad ass babe yourself. Don’t let being alone stop you from living your life. I’m glad I went out tonight by myself and pushed past my fear. See, that’s the thing about being brave, even though you’re scared you still push through. No one will think you’re weird. No one will think you’re a loser. It’ll be fine. You’ll live. Anyway, enjoy the few pics I took of tonight and take yourself out!

Love ya!


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